I'm a millionaire...in dongs

...that's Vietnamese dongs, the local currency. But I got your attention, didn't I? ;)

Today was my second full day in Hanoi, which means I've been successful at dodging an untimely death by Hanoi traffic for two days in a row now. I can't even begin to describe the traffic conditions here. I've been to a lot of places in the world where there's a lot of traffic congestion (Bangkok, Los Angeles), bad drivers (Delhi), and even non-law abiding drivers (Beijing), but Hanoi has got to be the first that has a wonderful, um...synergy of all three.

First, there's a LOT of traffic. And I mean all day long. I'm not sure how there can be so many people on the road at all hours of the day; perhaps nobody actually works and just drives around all day long?

Second, the traffic lights do not work, and/or not obeyed on the side streets. That means if you were standing at the crosswalk waiting for the light to turn green, forget about it. Because it's never going to turn green. Because it's never going to be turned *on*, period.

Third, the "rules of the road" (both written and ad hoc) are not obeyed in any way. For example, no one actually follows the traffic lights (see above). Also, all one-way streets can be two-way streets when necessary. Which means at any given time, on any given street, motorcycles, mopeds and cars can be going every which direction they please, regardless of what the arrows on the road indicate.

Fourth, Hanoi was not designed for pedestrians. (See aforementioned points about lack of traffic lights and compliance.) Nobody ever slows down for someone crossing the street, even if you technically have the green light, and/or are standing at a crosswalk. The only way you'll ever cross the street is to weave in and out of MOVING traffic. Some mopeds will also speed up on purpose when they see that you are trying to cross in front of them. Like I said, I'm grateful to still be alive.

I wish I could capture the cacaphonous soundtrack that is Hanoi in words. Everywhere you go, there are bikes, street vendors, pedicabs, mopeds, motorcycles, and cars. They're all honking and shouting, giving you a distinctly disturbing feeling that you are about to be run over at any moment. And yet, there's something very energizing about all of the craziness -- the city feels alive an buzzing throughout the day. But perhaps the "buzzing" could also be a result of the copious amounts of Vietnamese coffee I keep drinking all day long.

Yesterday, I walked around the Old Quarter and experienced the 36-street retail phenomenon that has been around for years, with each of the streets specializing in a particular product, ranging from silk to motorcycle seats to religious worship implements. Then it was a quick stop into SF-chef Bobby Chinn's restaurant for some good ol' American food before heading to local favourite Ipa-Nima for some retail therapy.

Today was my official "tourist" day: I hit up the Temple of Literature, the Ho Chi Minh Mausoleum & surrounding complex (alas, Uncle Ho was not available due to renovations and annual maintenance), and the Ngoc Son Temple on Hoan Kiem Lake. I even managed to sneak in some pho bo, and more souvenir shopping in the Old Quarter.

And tomorrow I'm off to the legendary Halong Bay, rounding out my 4-week sojourn. In some sense, it makes sense that my last full day will be on the water, having visited so many places on this trip where life evolved around the water. More overall trip thoughts will come in a couple of days -- from my favourite "trip-summing-up" place in the world, the Hong Kong airport. (All roads do lead to and from Hong Kong, don't they?)

Until then, bring on more spring rolls and coffee!

Update: "Cacaphonous soundtrack" of Hanoi captured here in a video. Thanks to Debbie for sharing her own same mind-boggling experience. ;)