Sleepless in Istanbul

The call to Farj (pre-dawn) prayers just finished. Oddly, it's become one of my favourite moments in Istanbul, as I sit here in the dark typing away on my laptop and listening to the serene verses from the Qur'an that I don't understand. I'm sleepless in Istanbul again, and I've come to realize that this whole sleeplessness thing happens to me quite often. Conventional wisdom would attribute it to jetlag, but I think there's something more deeply rooted than that. There's so much clarity in these moments when I'm sitting and organizing my thoughts, either on couch here or on a beach in Malaysia. There's a sense of comfort and serenity that can't be explained. There's a lot I'm battling in my mind these days...surgery, relationships, and to some extent, even the upcoming holidays...it's as though too many things are happening at once, and yet, not happening quite soon enough.

I guess it's these sleepless moments that are the actual "getting away from it all" parts of my getaways, and for that reason, I don't really bemoan the loss of sleep or eventual fatigue that will come tomorrow. We spend so much of our time searching for answers, relief, and confirmation that it's hard to really step away -- so I've learned to treasure moments like this where you basically don't need or want anything. It's like an odd vortex of time / space / reality.

Anyway, at this point, I might be thinking too much about it, which would take away from the whole 'clarity' thing I mentioned earlier. I better get back to being sleepless...