the hardest part

A blog by nature is self-centered and indulgent. You use a very public forum to rant, rave, or generally moan about what's good, bad and ugly in life, and in turn expect that people will either read or be interested in what you have to say. I have no interest in ranting or raving today, but I will be indulgent...just this one time.

the hardest part

it's not the long dark nights
or sleeping on either side,
or even waking up alone.
it's knowing there are no longer
any sides at all.

it's not the sunday afternoons
or wednesday evenings.
it's that each day
brings you farther away.
farther away from what you remember,
farther away from holding on.

it's not the forgetting or forgiving,
the getting over, or moving on.
it's not what could have been, might have been,
should have been.

the hardest part of breaking up
is realizing you've run out of reasons
for why you should not.
and acknowledging that it just wasn't.

Thinking of the past, looking to the future

WHOA. Rough couple of months there...much more than just planetary misalignment or Mercury retrograde. I venture to say that the worst has passed, but obviously, there's still a lot to process in terms of emotions, damages, baggage and closure. Not sure where the next few months will take me, but I'm grateful for the true friends who have stuck around through my stages of denial, indulgence and hysteria -- you guys are the best. Been listening to a lot of Leona Lewis lately, and I suppose Better in Time is the most appropriate piece for the moment...funny how the person who introduced me to it a couple of months ago ended up contributing to all this drama. 

My favourite line from the song?

"I'm gonna smile cause I deserve to / It'll all get better in time."

Misty and Kerri are awesome...

Saw the Olympic gold medalists at work today at the AVP Tournament in SF. Wow. Those ladies are PHENOMENAL. Hats off to them!

Soundtrack of life: Beautiful Disaster (the other one)

I am really loving Pandora...it helps me find all those *other* songs I should be listening to, and is much more helpful than the recommendations on iTunes. Anyway, I recently discovered this song by Jon Mclaughlin (I know, I've never heard of him either...but he sang that sappy love song in the movie Enhanted). Can definitely relate to many of the lyrics, and I'm pulling out the ones that I'm digging right now...

Beautiful Disaster - Jon Mclaughlin

She loves her mama's lemonade,
Hates the sound that goodbyes make.
She prays one day she'll find someone to need her.
She swears that there's no difference,
Between the lies and compliments.
It's all the same if everybody leaves her.

...

And she would change everything, everything just ask her.
Caught in the in between, a beautiful disaster,
And she just needs someone to take her home.

She's giving boys what they want, tries to act so nonchalant,
Afraid they'll see that she's lost her direction.
She never stays the same for long,
Assuming that she'll get it wrong.
Perfect only in her imperfections.

...

She would change everything for happy ever after.
Caught in the in between, a beautiful disaster,
But she just needs someone to take her home.

Cuz she's just the way she is, but no one's told her that's ok.

Why I really really disliked the Bonesetter's Daughter at SF Opera

I really wanted to like it. Love it even. My friend Kat and I went to the final dress rehearsal for the much-anticipated The Bonesetter's Daughter opera which will be having its world premiere this coming Saturday. To be honest, I didn't really know what to expect...I knew there were going to be elements of Chinese music incorporated into the piece, as well as of course, Amy Tan's libretto adapted from her best-selling novel.

So, with an open (and somewhat excited) mind, Kat and I settled into the 2 hour, 40 minute performance. All I can say is, OUCH. Without giving too much away, here are all the things that really, really bothered me.

• The music was this droning, dissonant, minor-key-overkill that pretty much continued throughout the entire performance. I'm not asking that it has be super flowery given the subject matter, but there at least needs to be *one* amazing aria for the obviously-super talented performers to show off a bit. There was no real musical climax, and by the second hour in, my head was just hurting from all the disonance and cacaphony. You just felt troubled and unresolved the whole time. Maybe that was the point. *sigh*
  
  
• The libretto. Oh, Amy Tan, I respect you a lot as a writer, but "I will fill your hole...all your holes belong to me?" during a rape scene? That's just distasteful.
  
  
• The Chinese-American cliches. I can't pinpoint any particular example, but the overemphasis on bad grammar and Chinese stereotypes just annoyed me. Combine that in opera form and it just seems comical. For a supposedly very serious and sad story. It. Didn't. Work.
  
  
• What are you trying to be? Avante garde and modern? Traditional east-contemporary west fusion? There wasn't a strong point of view one way or another. And I didn't feel any emotion for, or connections to the characters -- which is really unfortunate!
  

So the saving grace is that the performers were really good, and we saw strong performances by almost everyone in the cast. I hope people who go to the SF Opera for the first time to see this particular opera don't get turned off by it and dismiss the company as a result -- I honestly don't think this is a good reflection of the usual calibre of performances put on by the SF Opera. *sigh*

A new travel "destination"

I've finally diversified! Here's my new blog on all things related to my crazy 3-day weekend trips, 3 Days or Less... located at http://3daysorless.blogspot.com, and here's why I did it.

Enjoy!

Even the escalators are slower here

Trying. To. Slow. Myself. Down.

Vacation time aside, life is just that much slower here in the south. I'm trying hard to adapt...

Everything has bacon in it

I'm in Savannah, Georgia. Let me start of by answering the basics: no,
I'm not visiting any friends here, and no, I am not traveling with
anyone. In continuing my tradition of
random-US-cities-in-3-days-or-less, I ended up in Savannah after
hesitating and missing a deal on New Orleans. (which of course, turned
out to be the smartest idea ever given than Hurricane Gustav is about
to pound in with category 3 or 4 winds)

There's been a lot to see and eat in Savannah, but one thing is clear:
there is bacon in everthing here. For my 7 course tasting meal at
Elizabeth on 37th last night, there was no less than 4 courses
containing bacon -- quite a feat considering two of the seven courses
overall were desserts. Today at brunch, the servers at Clary's were
feasting on a snack from the kitchen: a plate full of bacon. Just
bacon and nothing more.

Can you tell that it's gonna be a gluttonous trip?

--
Sent from my mobile device

I'm too old for this!

Just got back from Vegas late last night. Usual whirlwind of eating, drinking, partying, shopping and losing money. I'm so drained! LOL

And yes, Tao was still yummy. I really really love sea bass satay.

Back from "home"?

Just got back from a 9-day road trip up (and back down) the coast of the Pacific Northwest. Wow. I've forgotten how much I love it up there...it reminded me, of well, home. The weather was gorgeous (not a single drop of rain, or much of a cloud the whole time), the food was glorious, and the people were friendly and awesome as always. More details on the trip later, but here's where we visited -- I know you can't see the route on this map, but the link below will take you to the actual driving route that we took.


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Actual driving route